Losing a brother or sister is especially difficult because of the bond formed between siblings. The social relationship between siblings represents one of the most important and intimate relationships people maintain during childhood and adolescence. Passing of a sibling may adversely affect surviving children's health, behaviour, schoolwork, self-esteem and development. Birth order, closeness in age, affinity to the sibling, time spent together during childhood, and time spent together during adulthood all affect the grieving process. Adolescents confronted by the loss of a sibling often experience trauma associated with the loss or witnessing the decline of their sibling as well as a sense of disenfranchised grief, where the intensity of their grief may not be recognised by other people The loss of a sibling may represent the loss of a friend, protector, and confidant with whom you share many memories. Older siblings are role models for younger children, shaping educational and health outcomes. You may feel unable to approach your parents when their own pain is so raw or you may feel that your own emotions are less important than theirs. You may now have extra responsibilities. You might be in shock and denial. This catastrophic event will change the relationships within your family, and you may now have become the eldest, the youngest or the only child.

Forgotten mourners

One of the most misunderstood and neglected areas of bereavement is sibling grief. Society tends to overlook sibling grief and concentrate more on the grief of a parent or child. Surviving siblings are often called “forgotten mourners” because their grief is often overshadowed by the grief of a person's parents, spouse, or children. Children’s grief in connection with the loss of a sibling is much overlooked. The parents are so deep in grief that they forget the child and they probably overlook that the surviving children also need help with their grief. It is wrong to expect that living children resume their normal lives while their parents grieve. We must acknowledge that children are far more perceptive about what’s happening around them than many adults might realize. Surviving siblings may be troubled throughout life by a vulnerability to loss and painful upsurges of grief around the date that the sibling died.
Supporting a child through grief requires three simple human attributes: honesty, patience, and empathy. Parents need to be aware of becoming too over-protective and restrictive toward surviving children in an effort to keep them “safe”.

Coping with Grief

You need time and patience to heal from the pain of loss. It can be helpful to share your grief and seek support from your family Find support outside your family. Consider talking with a close friend, a grief counselor. Having someone to listen to is one of the significant factors in supporting a young person. Social media can help you through some of the darkest times as there’s always someone available online to listen and offer advice.
Support groups can provide a setting to talk with others who share and understand your experiences and feelings. A shared community in which you can express your emotions to others who understand, having someone available to listen or be a sounding board can ease feelings of loneliness and frustration.
Create a living memorial including charitable work, establishing a fund in honor of your sibling, and being a good listener for another person going through a similar loss.
Share anecdotes and favorite stories about your sibling with people who knew them well.
Writing a letter to your sibling telling them of all the things you wished you could say before they died can help dealing with the grief. You can seal it and keep it with their other belongings.

If you’re struggling with your grief, please seek support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist.